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Jo Shannon's
Agoraphobia Story
I'm
not completely cured yet but then, who is? I've learned that
anxiety will always be there at some stages in my life and
that is normal, I just have the tools to cope with it.
I started off having chest pains and other symptoms like
breathlessness, high heart rate, etc. plus I already
suffered from migraines and IBS and it got to a stage where
I couldn't cope so I went to the Doctors and she said my
chest was fine, everything was fine I was just stressed with
work and it sounded like I was having panic attacks. She
gave me some advice like, take deep breaths and relax and
that was it. I was angry if nothing else because I didn't
believe her at first.
Later I realized they were panic attacks but I wouldn't let
them stop me, I learned to control them on buses and crowded
places which were the common factors that set me off and
thought I was fine till a few months later when work got
worse and I started to get them everyday when getting ready
for work, then again on the walk and the bus and the walk
into work. Once I conquered that, it hit my bladder with the
flight or fight response but I did not realize this was part
of the panic attacks. I thought this was an infection or a
side effect of medication and the sensation sparked a panic
attack.
I worked with this for three months until I couldn't cope
anymore and went sick. I couldn't go on a bus. I preferred
to walk because I was scared to sit down, and whilst I was
off sick I would only go out for short bursts. Each time I
would go out the panic would get worse and the distance
would become shorter till I was eventually house bound.
Three months I was in the house and the doctors were focused
on an infection or something and missing the panic attacks
completely. I bounced the word agoraphobia around as some
friends and family had used the term, but I had no idea what
it was so I went on the internet on many sites. None
described me. They all described someone scared of large
spaces until I found this site and the forum. It all fitted
and I found someone else who had the same problem with her
bladder too which made me think maybe this is the panic.
It gave me all the basic knowledge I needed and some first
steps to get me out the house in a way I felt comfortable. I
also printed pages off for my husband so he could
understand what was wrong with me and how to help.
But the best part was being able to choose a method of
therapy that was recommended and I believed would work so I
could call my doctor and say "by the way I've not been able
to go out my house for three months due to my panic attacks,
I need help and I want an urgent referral to a
cognitive-behavioral therapist and a psychiatrist" I got it,
I was very lucky there was a slot and they deemed me urgent
plus as I was making some progress with the steps program
made by Stephen they knew I was a good candidate.
Five months on from being given a therapist I can go to the
supermarket myself (it's a big one) and I am riding the bus.
I can get in the car with my husband and go to the pub or
where ever really and we have two steps left before I am at
work. I am hoping to be back at work by April (next month).
I wont say I am cured, but I am getting there and this site
put me in the right direction, it also gave me a good friend
Suzi who has supported me all the way through it.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is amazing. I couldn't have got
to where I am on just meds, in fact, a month ago I realized
my meds were actually doing nothing so that proves my point
there. It gives you great coping tools for every situation
so you can see that panic coming, override it, feel it come
down and then get on with it. Yeah, sometimes you feel a bit
weird talking to yourself and being your own cheer leader
gang but every one needs a pep talk some times right?
It was awful being housebound, but coming out again was
amazing. It makes you see everything differently, with that
little bit of wonder and awe I suppose. I used to stare at
the floor when I was walking. I can't do that anymore I have
to look around but that's good, I don't miss a thing!!
Anyway that's me. Getting there and feeling a million
dollars every time I hit a step... I think I'll feel like
that for a long time.
- Jo
Shannon
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