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What Doctors Didn't Tell Me About
Ativan
by Michelle Pitcairn
Many doctors prescribe Ativan (Lorazepam)
for anxiety. In my case, I never had a problem with anxiety
until I took Ativan to stop nausea during chemotherapy. When
I tried to quit taking it, I experienced anxiety, panic,
and other symptoms of agoraphobia. Here's my story:
In March
of 2002 I was diagnosed with tonsil cancer. After surgery I
agreed to eight weeks of intense radiation and chemotherapy.
While I was receiving my first dose of chemotherapy, the
nurse brought me samples of three different kinds of
medication for nausea. I was told to try all three and stick
with the one that kept me from being nauseated.
I chose Ativan.
I was not
told that Ativan is highly addictive and that it is also
used to treat anxiety disorders like agoraphobia. For eight
weeks, I continued taking Ativan during my chemotherapy.
In August
of 2002, I quit taking Ativan because it had been three
weeks since my last chemotherapy treatment and I was feeling
better. I had a major panic attack and was unable to leave
my apartment until I had more Ativan in my system. It was as
if I had agoraphobia and I didn't even know Ativan was
addictive until this happened.
After that
first panic experience, I never left home without Ativan. I
knew I had a major problem because when it was time to take
the Ativan my body would begin to shake and I would
experience nervousness and anxiety. For the next year, I saw
a detox doctor and struggled to be free from dependence on
Ativan.
My doctor
put me on several other kinds of medication so I could
decrease the amount of Ativan I took but nothing worked! The
more the Ativan got decreased the more the anxiety and panic
symptoms increased. I was so hurt and angry after because
after everything I had been through with the cancer, I began
to realize that the real suffering had just begun.
I felt the
Ativan dependence could have been avoided if the nurses had
given me something else that day for nausea that wasn't
addictive or at least warned me.
In
February of 2003, I had a total breakdown. The panic and
anxiety got so bad that I called my mom in Arkansas to come
and get me. I knew I needed more than a detox doctor to get
myself free from dependence on Ativan.
Shortly
after moving in with my mother I went into a detox hospital
for five nights. My mother cared for me over the next six
months while I slowly recovered. I remember being too afraid
to leave her trailer for at least two months. I was deathly
afraid of any contact with other people. I couldn't even
watch television because it was so overwhelming. I pretty
much had agoraphobia at that point.
Four
months later, I got a waitressing job and saved enough money
to come home. I have still not recovered from my panic and
anxiety disorder.
I am free from dependence on Ativan but am
currently on other medications for anxiety and depression.
My symptoms fluctuate from moderate anxiety to major panic
depending on how stressed I get. I am hardly able, at times,
to work and care for my son. I struggle daily to get well
and sometimes wonder if I will ever be free from the
suffering of this horrible illness brought on by taking
Ativan.
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