|
How I Developed a Purpose Greater than My Fear
by Stephen Price
The need for purpose is one
of the most basic human needs. A strong sense of meaning can
be powerful in overcoming a fearful situation. German
psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl, wrote about this in his book,
Man’s Search for Meaning.
I read this book while I had agoraphobia.
Dr. Frankl had the unique
experience of living through the horrors of the Nazi death
camps of World War II. Approximately one in twenty-six of
Frankl’s fellow prisoners survived. From observation and
interview, Frankl discovered that the main difference
between those who lived and those who died was a deep sense
of meaning or purpose in life.
Simply put, the men who lived were the ones who had the
strongest reasons to live. The disproportionate survival of
men who practiced religious faith intrigued Frankl greatly.
He watched spiritual men of inferior constitution outlive
more robust prison-mates. As a result, Frankl emerged from
the prison camps firmly convinced that a sense of meaning or
purpose in life is as vital to our existence as food, water
or clothing.
I first read about Frankl’s experience when I had
agoraphobia. When I read about his experience I related
to the men in the Nazi death camps because I felt like I was
in prison also, only my prison was a psychological one
instead of a physical one.
Agoraphobia had turned my own home into a prison. The
difference between my prison and a Nazi death camp was that
I had a lot more control over my release. My prison was of
my own making.
I decided that if a strong sense of meaning and purpose in
life could sustain a man through the horrors of a Nazi death
camp, then certainly a sense of meaning and purpose in life
could carry me through to the other side of my anxiety
disorder. I just needed a purpose in life that was greater
than my fear, especially my fear of failure.
At that time I decided that my purpose
in life would be to help suffering people. I decided to live
my life based on what I have to give instead of what I want
to get.
Since I recovered from
agoraphobia, people often ask me what the major turning point
in my recovery was. There were many turning points, but if I
had to choose just one, I would pick the night I made a deal
with God in one of my darkest hours of fear. That’s because
it changed the orientation of my life.
I wasn’t sure if you can really make a
deal with God, but I didn’t care. In complete and utter
desperation, I prayed to God that if I could be freed from
suffering and have my normal life back, I would use whatever
abilities God gave me in the service of other people. I told
God that if I were made well, my purpose in life would be to
help others in times of suffering. Though I didn’t know it
then, this change in purpose made all the difference.
To that point my life had all been
about me. My life had been about doing whatever I needed to
do to achieve everything I wanted for myself. Though I
hadn’t realized it, the purpose I had given myself actually
created fear – fear of failure.
When my life was all about meeting my
personal goals, fear of failure always loomed in the back of
my mind. I lived with the anxiety that I may not reach my
goals or get what I want out of life – and then what would
my life have meant? Constantly striving, fulfillment and
satisfaction always seemed to be far away in the future.
In making this promise to God that I would live to do good
for others, I let go of the anxiety over reaching my
personal goals and found a new sense of purpose in giving to
others. This new source of purpose offers meaning and
satisfaction along the way, regardless of the results of my
efforts.
I have since found that when the
purpose of my life is to do good for others, I have a
purpose greater than fear, including the fear of failing.
back to
articles
home
|
